gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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