If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Found the puke drawer
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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