Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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