my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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