didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize