Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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