you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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