Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
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You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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