Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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