i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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