I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
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Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
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Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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