the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize