I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
pray to the hookup gods
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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