oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
id be glad to
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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