Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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