Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize