I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize