Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize