I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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