i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize