I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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