i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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