Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
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