sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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