Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize