Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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