I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
her vagine was all disorganized.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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