We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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