hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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