I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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