dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize