I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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