R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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