so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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