Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize