Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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