Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize