I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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