Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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