erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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