If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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