I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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