I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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