He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize