everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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