please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize