So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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