I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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