Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize