You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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