She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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